You are poor and dumb. It’s okay.

Dumb CryptoPunks are free NFTs that will make you rich Supreme Beings. To qualify, you must be extremely dumb.

Satire Labs
3 min readMar 8, 2022


Hello frens 👋,

This is a guest article from cosmic lord Drake. He’s sensed extreme dumb on earth mid-2021, when people started saying “Web3”. To receive a Punk NFT (… serious) and become celestial, keep reading. Or go to their website.

Hello — This is Drake speaking. I know you are poor and dumb.

I can see it in your eyes and YouTube watch history. It’s okay.

This year (2022), we are looking to give out 6900 Dumb CryptoPunks.

Pay attention, as we are worth at least $420B.

What are Dumb CryptoPunks?

💥 Dumb CryptoPunks are NFTs — But we are also gods. We are intergalactic species that transcends spacetime and traverse the infinite universes. We are cosmic forces, born from the Dumb Metaverse.

🧿 Dumb CryptoPunks are real — We are here on Earth. They include your favorite goofballs like Elon Musk, Vladimir Putin, Naruto, Ryu from Street Fighter, and that chick from work.

🧠 Dumb CryptoPunks are fresh, cool, and rare — Only 10,000 Punks were created this century. When a Dumb CryptoPunk finds someone exceptionally dumb, you (the host) become the Dumb CryptoPunk.

How can I get a Dumb CryptoPunk?

Again, you don’t get a dumb CryptoPunk. You become one.

OK now, here are 6 signs you may get a Dumb CryptoPunk.

1. You bought bitcoin at the top. Your portfolio is down -80%.

2. You believe your worthless Crazy Penguinz NFT has value.

3. You say “gm”, despite having panic attacks every morning.

4. You say “WAGMI”, despite hating your life.

5. You cry alone at night.

6. You enjoy getting screwed by the market.

Sounds like you? 🐦 Tweet at @DumbCryptoPunks. We will decide if you deserve a punk.

“What happens if I change my pic to a Punk?”

You will notice the ability to manipulate spacetime immediately.

Also, your new job will be VC with a Substack of 100K+ sheeps.

TRUTH IS… Everyone is capable of becoming a Dumb CryptoPunk. But will you? Our mission is to share the story of Dumb CryptoPunks, across all universes & metaverses.

Confused? Perfect.


NFT: Contract (PolygonScan), OpenSea, NFTrade

Twitter: Personal (@DumbMeta), Punks (@DumbCryptoPunks)

Community: Reddit (/r/DumbMeta), Discord, Instagram


P.S. You can also write a post on /r/DumbMeta why you deserve one on our subreddit. Or tag us with your Proof-of-Dumb on Instagram.